half-blood prince The Very Magnitude of Guilt / 8,900 words - Jan 2006 Harry doesn't kill Voldemort, doesn't get the girl, and doesn't get peace of mind. But somehow everything turns out okay.   goblet of fire Two Death Eaters Walk Into a Bar / 2,015 words - April 2003 With Rube. All Lucius wanted was for his son to make him proud. Tickle Me Pink / 1,250 words - Nov 2002 - NC-17 That's sexual harassment, Mister, and I don't have to take it. Dirty, dirty Harry/Draco. Heart Stopped Breathing / 980 words - May 2002 Ron. Egypt. In the heat of summer, Fate pauses for no man. (Read the remix: Heart Stopped Breathing (And Beating Too) by losselen.) The Pop Goes the Weasel Trilogy / 22,150 words - March 2002 A black comedy. Ron wants to be famous. Lucius Malfoy wants to be a god. Toss in amnesia, evil artefacts, alternate dimensions, and backstabbing on all sides, and stir until you go insane. Warnings for drug abuse, heavy rock music, and a complete lack of morals. Stories in the trilogy: I Was a Death Eater and All I Got Was This Bloody T-Shirt I Was a Lucius Lover and All I Got Was This Black Eye I Was a Professor and All I Got Was This Fungal Growth   prisoner of azkaban How Harry Potter Got His Groove Back / 12,350 words - Nov 2001 Snape tries to hang himself, Draco enters an alternate reality, and Harry Gets a Clue. Harry/Draco, Snape/James/Lucius.   [More short stories] * These stories are based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.